I turn 30 today.
I attempted suicide when I was 23. Since then, each year has been better than the last. I plan to keep that trajectory going.
Here are my 30 favorite lessons learned since my 29th birthday.
There are people dumber, who have worse circumstances, and who are less ambitious than you…doing exactly what you want to do. They just put themselves out there more. They take more action.
Pessimists get to be right; optimists get to be rich. — Shaan Puri
If you’re not from an area, don’t worry about “looking like a tourist.” You are a tourist. It's not a crime. — Damon Dominique
Right now, no one is thinking about you. Your career, your ideas, your decisions…No one is judging or calculating your life, only you are. Don’t make decisions based on people who aren’t thinking about you.
Drinking and experimenting with drugs can be a worthwhile experience. But if you need a substance to enjoy a person, event, or habit…cut that thing out of your life.
People want you to do well, just not better than them. The same folks who root for you on your way up will shit-talk you when you’re at the top.
Strenuous exercise 3x/wk. Limit added sugar, empty carbs, & alcohol. 7-9 hours of sleep each night… Do these every week of your life and you will be in the top 1% of health.
Things you don’t need to start a business: confidence, a business plan, vision. Things you actually need to start a business: a product/service, people to sell it to, a way to take payments.
All tension in life comes from unmade decisions or unhand conversations. Figure out what you’re avoiding and do the thing.
Set up regular scheduled calls with friends (e.g. every other Tuesday @ 8pm). It will keep you more connected and you won’t have to stress about staying in touch.
There’s no good reason to consistently watch porn. It’s a corrupt industry that coerces young women into selling their bodies & souls. And watching it destroys self-esteem, motivation, and sexual performance. — Meghan Murphy
You will be successful if you just show up on time and do the things you said you were gonna do.
If you can afford it, prioritize getting a coach, therapist, or trainer. These will do so much more for you than new cars or clothing will.
Ask yourself, “If I could fast-forward this moment, would I?” If so, you’re either not being present or you need to change your environment. — Ali Abdaal
People feel empowered when they feel accountable to something. e.g. My girlfriend and I split house duties and I’m in charge of trash. I own it. It’s not just a chore, it’s a responsibility I can take pride in.
Avoid statements like, “I’m this kind of person,” or “That’s just who I am.” It's not set in stone. You’re just avoiding the work of improvement.
How to build an audience in 2 steps:
one by one
don’t stop
Confidence = having lots of stories that disprove your self-doubt. If you’re feeling unconfident, don’t try to hack your mindset. Just put in more time and effort and the confidence will come.
If you’re talking to a man or woman who says the other sex is the enemy…run. — Konstantin Kisin
Always stand your ground. Stand out. Don’t shy away from speaking common sense just because everyone else is afraid to. — Timothy Snyder
Use the 2-for-1 rule to talk to anyone for hours:
ask a question
ask a follow-up question
share an idea/story/opinion
Don’t be fooled by Twitter, LinkedIn, & Instagram. We’re all confused, overwhelmed, and nervous about our futures.
90% of podcasts never make it past episode 7. Of the ones that do, 90% of those never make it past 20. So uploading 21 episodes will put you in the top 1% of podcasters. It’s never been easier to crush it. — Chris Williamson
The Corridor Theory: You never know what’s in the corridor until you step into it. You can’t know what you’ll be working on 3 years from now. Just keep working and it will naturally shape itself. — Marcus Jones
The easiest way to focus for hours is to remove all distractions:
phone off and in another room
BlockSite - extension to…block sites
noise canceling headphones
Traveling the world doesn’t teach you how different everyone is. It shows you that we’re all pretty much the same. Everyone is…
in traffic
getting food
raising families
One of the most valuable and hard-to-replicate products is a strong community. Where members support one another, exchange valuable lessons, and collaborate. — Daniel Vassallo
A free gift you can give in 5 minutes:
write a list of ways someone helped you improve/change
send it to them
cry
How to be comfortable talking to beautiful women: flirt with everybody. Talk to everyone regardless of sex, age, or occupation. Make them laugh. Ask them questions. — Craig Ferguson
I don't know exactly what will happen if you help 100 people for free this year. But I know very very good things will happen. If you're newer at a thing, you can't get "paid what you're worth." No one knows who you are so the demand for your work is low. Compensate that by doing lots of free work. Prioritize improvement and build your network. You will be rewarded tenfold if you can just hold off on gratification.
Email me and let me know what lands and what doesn't. Or send me hate mail on Twitter @dillanroytaylor.
See you next year.