Day 15: Feel
15/30 – What (specifically) are your favorite and least favorite feelings?
• Letting down someone I love. Not following through with what I said I was going to do. Not being there for them. Breaking a promise. Hurting them in any way.
• Being anxious about money. Not being 100% certain about how I will pay my bills in the coming months. Tracking the price of everything at a restaurant or grocery store.
• Knowing–at the end of the day–that I fucked off and wasted it. This is not the same as resting. Resting is purposeful time not spent working, and it’s necessary. Fucking off is when you know you should be working, creating, or learning…and instead you do nothing. This is wasted time. You can’t earn it back. There is a guilt and a shame to this that aches.
• That aura of bliss you feel when you’re surrounded by friends and/or family and you’re having the time of your life. Whether you’re all laughing hysterically together, having fruitful conversation, being vulnerable with one another…A feeling of true connectivity is hard to beat.
• Accomplishing something you didn’t think you could do. Surprising yourself with what you are now capable of. Expanding your comfort zone because you’ve put yourself out there and challenged your body or mind.
• Hitting the upload button on YouTube.