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  • Writer's pictureDillan Taylor

Hating People

When you think long enough about it, hating others makes no sense. It can be incredibly fun to talk shit about people whose words or actions you disagree with, but hating a person poses a number of counter-intuitive problems.

  1. It does nothing to solve the problem. Do you actually care to make a change in the world? If so, does speaking poorly about a person behind their back expedite this change? It can, but only on rare occasions.

  2. Would you say what you’re saying if they were in the room with you? I’m not talking about criticizing authoritarian governments…you get it. I’ve met a ton of people who are quite witty and tough when their target is not around, but then become a mild-mannered fluff ball when face to face with said person.

  3. Is there an actual utility to venting or bitching? No. I got this from No Ego: Studies have shown that “venting” does not actually help people blow off steam; instead, it creates a habit loop of complaining and rather than feeling better, we solidify our negative emotions by moving it to the forefront of our minds and the minds of others. Have you ever noticed that it’s 20 times easier to be negative or talk shit when someone else is doing it? Sometimes we even do it to connect or bond with others.

It’s difficult to break the habit. Incredibly difficult. But it can be done.

Look around and pay attention to how often you or your friends speak ill of others.

When someone spends a ton of time talking shit, it says more about them than whatever they’re complaining about.

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