This week, I hit my 1000th coaching hour. That means I’m a certified Master Insight Coach. It took me one year, six months, and four days.
I’ve coached nearly 100 different people these last few years. This has given me a pretty good look at how we make decisions, what we’re afraid of, and our capacity for growth.
I’m lucky to have been able to coach some amazing people. Some of them I see myself working with for years and years to come.
Humans are infinitely complex and quite simple at the same time. We all have different personalities, strengths, and limiting beliefs. But we all want stuff, feel there’s stuff in the way of that stuff, and then either do something or nothing about it.
There are five major traits I’ve seen in the people who crush life. I see these folks as genuinely successful.
By “successful,” I’m not factoring in their income. I measure success by how fulfilled a person is by the life they’re creating.
Here we go.
1) Ownership
The top characteristic I’ve seen in people who move in the direction they want.
They don’t blame things outside of their control for their situation. They might mention them, but they quickly dive into what’s in their control to do something about it.
“Not everything is my fault, but it is my responsibility.”
The people who actually get what they want in life understand that if they want to experience change, they have to change.
2) Doubt, fear, and anxiety
“You’ve got to be fearless” is bullshit advice.
Humans are wired to stress about things. Only now, we don’t worry about getting attacked by animals; we ponder our purpose in life.
No matter how well a client is doing, they tend to still be afraid and doubtful as they level up.
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
“What if I screw up now that the stakes are higher?”
I’ve heard this all a thousand times. But they always get through it.
Which brings me to #3…
3) Doing the scary thing anyway
Successful people realize that they’re allowed to feel how they feel. Emotions come and go naturally.
But they don’t let these feelings stop them from doing what they want. They experience the growing pains of improvement.
It goes like this:
Step 1: I want this new thing Step 2: I’m going to take action to get it Step 3: This isn’t as easy as I was hoping Step 4: I don’t know if I can do it Step 5: I’m kind of doing it and it’s actually not that hard Step 6: I can do anything I set my mind to Step 7: Repeat
4) Committed and focused
The people who are most serious about improving their lives play full out.
They show up on time, are ready to take notes, and are eager to take action.
They are also prepared to invest in themselves. Not just with money, but time and effort as well. They make their well-being a priority.
5) Growth mindset
Those who climb the mountain know the only thing between where they are and where they want to go is time and effort.
They stay away from fixed phrases like “I can’t” or “I’m not the kind of person who…”
Deep and meaningful change is possible for every single one of us. The only way it wouldn’t happen is if we choose for it not to happen.
Take a person who is convinced they couldn’t run a marathon. They’re unlikely to start training for one. They won’t register for one to give them the incentive. They won’t find a training partner to hold them accountable. Six months will go by and they’ll be in the exact same place…thus proving themselves right.
Successful people realize the journey will be more difficult, uncomfortable, and complex than they originally thought. But they keep practicing and doing.
The hard becomes easy. Then they look to new challenges.
Which of these traits do you feel you have? Which do you think you need to work on? Reply to this email and let me know.