The absolute quickest way to a more blissful life is from basic stoic philosophy:
Focus on what you can control, not on what you can’t.
It’s simple, but it takes practice. Here’s a quick example…A few days ago, after only having my new car for TWO DAYS, someone hit it in a parking lot and drove away. I was furious. It felt as though the universe was punishing me. I kept questioning how this could happen to me. I mean, ten years of driving and never a scratch on any car I’ve driven and then, two days into having my own car…boom.
During that first hour of realization I was angry. And what is anger? It’s just us reminding ourselves over and over again why we should be mad. Then I stopped. I did a few mindfulness exercises. How could it have been worse? The car could’ve been totaled. I could’ve immediately gotten a call saying my dad has been diagnosed with cancer…
This helped…But what really cleared the fog was when I completely shifted my focus on all the things I could control in this situation. I was lucky enough to have a witness leave a note with the car’s information on my windshield. I could call them to hear what happened. I could call the police and tell them I have a witness. I could call my insurance company to see what they could do. I could tell my friends the story in a humorous manner. I could laugh about how crazy it is that someone hit my car after having it for two days.
When you only focus on the things you can’t control, you lock yourself in a dark, musty room. You ask people to come in the room with you, and good friends will humor you for a bit. They’ll agree with you about how bleak and disgusting the room is, but eventually, you have to get the fuck out of the room.
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