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  • Writer's pictureDillan Taylor

Things That Piss Me Off

For those who are familiar with my content, I preach positivity, essentialism, and mindfulness when facing the obstacles of life…But to prove I’m not a robot, here’s a list of things which absolutely get on my nerves:

People who drive slow in the left lane – It’s the passing lane. Hanging out there and not driving fast actually causes way more accidents than speeding on the highway does.

When people look at their phone while you’re talking to them – It’s rude, and no, you’re not listening…you can’t focus on two things at one time.

Bill Maher – His political insights: cool. His pompous and narcissistic “comedy:” never funny, egotistical, and dull. Every time I see him pause and laugh at his own jokes during his monologues I want to vomit.

Picking crabs – The stupidest thing in the world. One of the most boring and painful ways to get food with the worst ROI on the east coast.

Fat glorification – I would never advocate for fat-shaming or any act where you belittle someone else or purposely hurt someone else’s feelings; and yes, self-love is important…BUT I can’t get down with people glorifying unhealthy lifestyles. Being obese or even overweight doesn’t make you a worthless slob, but it does make you less healthy than is optimal. You’d be happier and more capable of longevity if you were more fit. You don’t have to become an Olympian or a vegan, but consistent exercise with clean eating will greatly improve one’s life.

Passive aggression – Jesus Christ…say what you’re thinking or what upset you so we can start to fix the problem, or shut the hell up.

When people make others miserable because they are miserable – I avoid these people like the plague. Of the same token: people who constantly complain about their lives but do nothing to try to fix the issues; people who get upset at what others have that they don’t; and in general, people who vehemently focus on the things they can’t control as opposed to the things they can control.

When people just leave their shopping cart in the parking lot – Just push it 20 yards to the thing. Of the same token: leaving something in a way in which you know, “Someone else will take care of this.”

Terrible instructions – When I’m putting together a desk or doing anything else which requires some combination of steps and pictures, I find myself screaming at inanimate objects. Either the pictures don’t make sense or the words are too small.

Bad planners – I’m not a proponent of using one’s phone often, but if we’re planning something (be it a trip or a dinner), answer your fucking phone. Communicate.

Cancel culture – What was well-intentioned to limit bigotry in the world has become way too overblown and is now a way to absolutely silence and eliminate anyone who says something you disagree with. Even when people make a huge mistake, I don’t find it healthy to declare that that person is now totally irredeemable. What if they are genuinely, truly sorry? Not good enough. Go away forever. It should also trouble us that most (if not all) people who are proponents of cancel culture also advocate for the rehabilitation of former murderers and rapists who spent 20-30 years in jail. I also advocate for their rehab and reentering in society, but that means there should be consistency in philosophy. Megyn Kelly made a dumb comment about black face, people demanded that she apologize, she did so genuinely (her apology made her look like a hostage victim), then people said “Okay, now go away forever.” Crazy times.

When people tell you what your intentions are – You’re probably wrong.

When soccer players dive – I.E. when they pretend to be injured. I love soccer, but this is disgraceful. These are some of the fittest, fastest, strongest, most agile men in the world…and they’re pretending to almost die when they are barely touched. Shameful.

When people are rude to wait staff or customer service – Even if you’re right, even if they messed up, it’s like…do you want that job? Practice patience.

Cartoonish racism – We’re obviously experiencing complicated times right now, but a few years ago I was at a party with a number of “red neck” folk. One of them liberally threw around the N word and meant it. I felt sick to my stomach each time I heard it.

When people say things about others that they would never say to that person’s face – We all do this to some degree and it’s a hard habit to kick. Whether on social media, or just in a room with your friends, how often do you talk shit about others where you would be horrified if they heard you say such things?

Wow. I guess I have pent up demons which have just been dying to get out. I didn’t mean to write that much. But there you are.

Peace to all. Fuck Bill Maher.

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