Because they typically require that you overload yourself with a bunch of new rules and habits.
Now, if you’ve read any of my stuff in the past, you know I love rules and habits. They are the path toward a healthy, fulfilling, and ultimately free life.
But they need to be learned and adapted slowly, progressively.
If the 95% of failed New Years resolutions teaches us anything, it’s that going balls to the wall with good decisions isn’t enough. Those decisions have to be engrained in your day to day…set in stone.
When something is a habit, it’s easier to simply do that thing than it is to think about doing it. It feels like it does itself.
Making extreme and immediate changes to your routines may bring you success in the short term, but there’s a reason every single winner of The Biggest Loser has gained all (usually more) of that weight back within two years.
Overloading strong habits will inevitably lead to burnout and a sense of failure. Surprisingly, this doesn’t lead to lasting change.
I’ve had many clients feel pumped up after a coaching session and do this. At the end, when we come up with their Next Actions, they get antsy.
• “I’m gonna go to bed before 11am each night.” • “I’m gonna exercise every morning.” • “I’m gonna read at least 20 pages every day.” • “I’m gonna meditate every morning for 30 minutes.”
Every single one of these actions is beautiful and would certainly be powerful if applied to one’s life. But going from zero to all of these is impossible to maintain.
Naturally, they come back and tell me in the following session that they fell off with their Next Actions, usually with a tone of failure.
But that’s not a failure in execution; it’s a failure in planning.
It sounds boring as hell, but the only true way to build strong habits is to ever so slowly integrate them into your life.
I have strong exercise habits; it took me three years.
I have strong productivity habits; it took me nine years.
I have strong relationship habits; it took me 27 years.
The things that will sustainably change your life will take time. That sucks to hear, but it’s the only way.
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