Why you always give up.
The Growth Mindset is the simple belief that your energy and effort will be rewarded.
If I just keep exercising, I will get in shape. If I just keep testing and working, my business will thrive. If I just keep putting in the time, it will be worth it…
Most people fall off whatever it is they set out to do because they hit a point where they don’t believe they will be rewarded for their effort. This makes sense.
If you hate exercise and spend weeks working out with no noticeable results, why continue?
Because you’re almost fucking there.
Looking at all the things that make me feel completely fulfilled—my work, my relationships, my health…there’s a common thread that ties the success of all of them together:
I was patient.
It takes time to create the life you want to live. A ton of time.
I’m incredibly “lucky” to do work that pays me well and that I love. I put lucky in quotes because it took so much work to get to this point. Hours of teaching myself skills to up my value. Holding back tears when I didn’t know how I would pay my bills the next month. Dealing with gut-wrenching levels of uncertainty. Living at my mom’s house for three years…
There were obviously a number of other factors involved: Learning from mistakes, decision-making skills, a totally supportive network…But the point is this:
Life is God damn difficult. If you give up on what matters to you when it inevitably gets difficult, you dig yourself a deeper hole.
If you want to learn piano, you sit down and practice it every day. Some days, you feel like a God as you improve your finger skills. Other days, you want to throw the piano out the window because you suck and can’t even string chords together.
But if you tell yourself, “I’ll never get good at piano,” you will inevitably stop practicing. And as a result…you don’t get good at piano.
Then you go, “See! I knew I couldn’t get good at piano…”
You prove yourself right. Your action (or inaction) solidifies the identity you’ve set for yourself.
Flip that around.
Identify as someone who keeps at it despite the difficulty. Identify as someone who patiently practices until their efforts are rewarded.
Often times, the person who wins the game is just the one who plays the longest. I have no clue
Keep going, my friend.