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  • Writer's pictureDillan Taylor

Getting Back On

…The horse, I mean.

Not long into this quarantine, I found myself slipping when it came to my eating habits. It began with donuts; then led to a daily ritual of consuming all kinds of sweets and junk food. I was sinking.

I could feel my body being sucked down into the mud. My thinking slowed. My motivation dwindled. And worst of all, each day I ate poorly made it that much easier to do the same the next day.

Breaking negative momentum is difficult. Breaking positive momentum is effortless. It’s easier to eat Flamin’ Hot Cheetos again, than it is to sit down once more and write for two hours.

It’s never a glamorous transition, but when you feel yourself sliding into negative momentum (i.e. developing a shitty habit like drinking heavily each night or eating poisonous junk), forgive yourself, then stop doing it.

Sounds like piss-poor advice, but it’s that simple. We often keep the train going because we think: “Well, I’m already a piece of shit. Might as well keep it going.” But we don’t have to do this.

Just because we won’t instantly feel amazing that first day we end our binging, doesn’t mean that great feeling won’t come. This past weekend was my example:

Friday: ate shit, felt like shit Saturday: first day I ate well, still felt like shit Sunday: ate well again, felt slightly better Monday: just woke up, feel great!

It’s a progressive process. Be patient. On Saturday, I was bored and felt as though I should just eat some sweets since I already felt like garbage. Not eating this garbage won’t make me feel any better, I thought. But it will eventually!

Play the long game. you’re not a bad person for developing bad habits; it’s natural and it’s easy. Just notice when it happens, forgive yourself, and get back on the fucking horse.

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