I really don’t want to have a baby this week, but I’d be fine if I did
Whenever we want to do something cool or useful—travel to a new country, create a business or a piece of content, or have a difficult conversation with someone…
We come up with aggravatingly reasonable justifications to not do that thing.
It’s not in the budget. I don’t know how. The timing isn’t right.
But the timing will never be right.
I look to my mom’s advice on not being ready to have kids. She says…
“I hear so many young people say, ‘Ugh, I absolutely can’t have a kid right now. I can barely take care of myself…’ I said the same thing when I was 29. I was a waitress who partied all the time. But you figure it out. You just do. You have no choice. I had my son and was like…Oh, well, this little boy is my life now. I finished school and started my career. I did all the things I was sure I wasn’t ‘ready’ for.”
My mom obviously doesn’t advocate for shitty parents. She’s commenting on our human ability to adapt and figure things out, especially for the hard stuff.
I don’t want to have a child today or this year. But if I did, I wouldn’t just throw it in the dumpster. I’d do everything I could to make it work! I’d change my budget, adjust my values, and make new decisions for the long term.
Having a baby is a huge example, but we can apply this truth to anything else.
In starting a business or an organization, say, we may feel unqualified to do so. But when we just do it and create clients, customers, and members…we become qualified through practice. Again, we figure it out.
I didn’t know how to run a blog when I started this one two years ago. I had a clunky Squarespace website that was difficult to maneuver around. My writing was meh.
But after posting every day since then, I’ve developed a rhythm and an audience for my ideas. It feels like second nature at this point. Again…I figured it out.
My mom was absolutely not ready to have me at 29. Now I’m about to be 29.
She’s still alive. I’m still alive. So her not being ready was a reasonable fear-based illusion.
What do you not feel ready for?